The "perfect" family size, spacing children as closely, or as far apart as we please. Family planning has come a long way. It used to be that women birthed babies frequently, and at most times unexpectedly.
When my husband and I first talked about family, we had decided that we would like to strive for a large family of 5. We both come from families of 5, children spaced, ages 3 years apart. Without really every contemplating it too heavily, we thought it was the perfect plan. Now that we have had Eli, our thoughts have shifted.
When I first held my little bundle of 5 lbs 8 ounces of joy, I immediately was bitten with a mommy hood bug. I already wanted to try, for yet another baby. I guess we could all partly blame that on the morphine? Now that my son is 6 months, the thought of having another child has not subsided like I thought it would. It has only progressively gotten worse.
Which brings me to the question. Are we ready to be parents again? I believe it is in my next child's best interest if I try to hold out for a few more months before we try again. Ideally be pregnant when our son is at least the age of 1, my husband and I have come to an agreement that we would like try to space them closer together. Studies have shown that children spaced closely together have less sibling rivalry, they have more in common, play great together, and can prevent any struggles children may have with the welcoming of a new baby.
We understand that having children spaced so closely together is going to be difficult. Doable, fun, joyous, but yes difficult. However that will only be in the younger years. Perks to the trade would include my children sharing experiences, toys, clothes, and fun, as well as us as parents getting over the special challenges of the baby and toddler years as quickly as possible!
The only thing left to contemplate, would be me as a mother, and my well being. Am I ready physically, and emotionally, to be a parent again?
Studies have shown that 18 to 23 months apart is ideal. Pregnancies spaced less than one year have had an increased risk of low birth weight and or preterm birth.
It is very important for a mother to take good care of herself between pregnancies, especially if you plan on spacing them closer together. Women need time to lose their pregnancy weight, increase their exercise strength, improve their body tone, (especially their abdominal and pelvic muscles.) Most important of all, nutrition. Having a baby depletes you of your iron. One needs to be sure that their iron levels are regular, and that their body is nutritionally ready for another pregnancy.
Having children "back to back" can have many rewards. As mothers and women, we just need to remember that it is very important that we take care of ourselves physically, and mentally during and between each pregnancy.
3 comments:
Thank you for this post! It is a question that has been on our minds a lot lately. I was 2 years apart from my brother, and really liked it. I think that only you and the Lord will know what is right for your family. What fun adventures!
I think I have been making it harder than it needs to be lol. I have been wracking my brain, it took us 5 months to get pregnant the first time. So I was thinking to start now? However if I got pregnant tomorrow, it really wouldn't be ideal for the baby, Eli was so small to begin with, having a baby be even smaller, or possibly prematurely wouldn't be ideal! So I think Ill give it a few more months, work on my fitness and well being, and give it a go when he is 9 months??
I never would have thought that I would love mother hood this much! It does have it's trials, but its OH SO WORTH IT!
Love your post Julie. You are always so well educated on your decisions. I have also done a lot of thinking and studying on this and found the same research as you have and I have put tons of thought into what I would like to do. I was already thinking about baby #2 right after Malloree was born. Kalab and I haven't decided quite yet what we want to do. I know I definitely have days when I am so ready and other days I'm so grateful to just have the one! It's such a personal decision- just like everything else concerning parenthood. You are a great mommy and make darn cute babies!
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